Fact #7, boys and i dont get along

I am turning 18 in a month and as shocking as it might be, I have never been kissed. I know I shouldn’t be embarrassed about stuff like this, but it’s more that I’m embarrassed about the reasons that no boy has ever rubbed lips with me (did I really just say that?)

My first crush happened when I was around 8 years old. He was one of my brother’s best friends(one of the only benefits of having an older brother- cute friends). I thought he was the funniest person on the face of the earth, and he didn’t try to ditch me like my brother did. A few years later, he made a move. (Not really but leave me alone, I was like 10.) He invited me to his pool. I couldn’t go. The end.

(middle school crushes don’t count because you don’t tell anyone about them and you die if they find out.)

I don’t know. A couple of boys did show signs of interest in me, but I mean who am I to interpret signs of interest? Anyway, I have learned a little bit since I was 14. For example, guys don’t like to see the scar on your had from when you had a wart. Also, it’s not considered cute to be constantly trying to get their attention.

So it’s not like I’m attacking guys like they’re Harry Styles or something. I just have really really suckish timing and location. I’m always either a billion miles away or just like a pain in the ass. I know boys are stereotypically bad texters, but just a few weeks ago a boy literally told me that he sees my messages and then gets distracted on the way to his phone. How even? Is your phone like in the refrigerator or something?

I’m usually okay with being really inexperienced in romance. But dude, I watched Clueless the other day and Tai’s line “You’re a virgin that can’t drive!” really hit home. It’s so applicable to my life that it hurts. Anyway, the moral of the story is: don’t make fun of inexperienced girls. It’s not our fault that boys seem so into us one day and then never talk to us again.

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