Fact #12, i am who i am

It’s 2015 and I figure I better accept myself by now. The world still has far to come to be an accepting place for all, but there’s no reason we can’t each be okay with who we are for ourselves.

My self confidence has been on a slow road to recovery since the borderline verbal abuse I received all through high school. One good thing that came out of that experience was that I learned I needed to be aware of my influences. My parents consider themselves to be liberal, but from being around them I know that they do judge quite a lot. Last night we were watching the New Years Rockin Eve on tv and I commented on how strong and healthy Fergie looked. My parents proceeded to pick apart her choices in makeup and wardrobe and appearance in general. And it made me think- I have been oppressed. I really have.

Girls are lead to believe that they should want a strong masculine man. In general, men who are upfront with their emotions or do not have the rugged, tough look are judged. This is very dangerous. It is dangerous to those men, because they are told they shouldn’t be the way they are. It is dangerous to other men because they are told not to express themselves and they fear vulnerability. It is also dangerous to women. It’s confusing to be told you shouldn’t be attracted to who you’re attracted to.

I am attracted to less masculine men. It confused me for the longest time. People in my life would say “he’s probably gay” or “that’s not a real man.” And I didn’t understand. Was I not attracted to men? I wasn’t particularly attracted to women…

But I’m realizing that there’s so much out there. There are straight, less masculine men. And nothing is wrong with them. Just like there is nothing wrong with the women who are attracted to them. Or any human being who is attracted to any other human being anywhere on the gender spectrum.

As I’m writing this, I feel a little guilty because I know I have never had to deal with as much hatred as some people of other orientations have received. It isn’t fair. However, it is my hope that by bringing attention to more variations in people, the world may realize there is more to accept.

Did this post make any sense at all? I have no idea…